Wannabes
by Hoodoo
Summary: What's happening?! Charles kidnapped! By whom? Or what? (and finally) What was I thinking?!
1. the Disappearance

Disclaimer: You know the routine: not mine, don't sue ****

Disclaimer: You know the routine: not mine, don't sue. I promise no characters were harmed during the development of this.

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Note: Special thanks to my partner in crime—my husband. Not only does he put up with my ramblings and imaginary world, he encourages it! Doesn't it scare you that there isn't one but _two_ people out there thinking roughly the same way, _and we're capable of breeding more of ourselves._

Now that's a scary bedtime story.

Enjoy, kiddies!

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Chapter One: the Disappearance

Throughout 1407 Graymalkin Lane, alarms blared, blasting the residents into an automatic state of readiness. But since warning alarms were so common, most of the residents slipped easily from readiness to disregarding annoyance.

Jean Grey swore, unladylike, at the sound. The siren had woken her from a deep sleep, and now she wouldn't have time to put on her face before saving the world.

Jubilation Lee took the opportunity to pitch the tofu and wheat germ breakfast Ororo Monroe carefully prepared into the garbage, wistfully staring at the empty Chinese containers also in the trash. _(author's plug: see 'So Hungry' for explanation!)_ She vowed to her stomach that she would grab a bite to eat at the nearest fast food place. Jubilee followed the wind witch out of the breakfast nook.

Logan barely looked up from the television screen. He had just gotten passed the Hell-Billy Deadites in his video game, and he wasn't about to shut it down now.

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(another plug: check out 'Hail to the King,' for clarification and a pleasant read)

Hank McCoy sighed, thinking he never had the good fortune of completing a leisurely bubble bath. He exited the tub, shook like a dog, and wrapped a towel around his waist.

Rogue, practically running down the hall to meet with the other team members, skidded to a stop in front of the living room. Without saying a word, she darted inside, grabbed Logan by the shoulders, and hauled the shorter man off the couch. He looked angered, then resigned as she yanked him behind her. 

Scott Summers leaned into the button and the siren wailed again.

All the members met in the War Room, some more out of breath, or damper, or hungrier, than others.

"We've got a code red, people," Cyclops barked.

A majority of the rest, including a red-haired telekinetic, rolled their eyes.

"Code red! I'm serious!" he repeated, his face flushing the same shade as his visor. "Professor Xavier has been kidnapped!"

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	2. Second Verse, Same as the First

Disclaimer: see part one—it's all the same ****

Disclaimer: see part one—it's all the same.

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Note: Somehow this fic has taken on a life of it's own and is evolving into something that I hadn't quite planned. _*muttering*_ _stupid fics never doin' what you want them too! don't know enough for their own good . . .!_ Freaky.

Enjoy!

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Chapter Two: Second Verse, Same as the First

Everyone sat at the table and stared at Cyclops.

"Kidnapped! Abducted! Captured—"

The response was less than he expected.

"I left a warm, relaxing bath for this?"

"Son of a—Scott, you forced me out of bed to hear that?"

As the rest of the team declared similar sentiments, Cyclops gaze wandered bewildered from face to face. Wolverine, annoyed by his expression, spit, 

"Oh come on, One-eye! The Prof's been gone for days!"

Stricken, Cyclops choked, _"What?!"_

Silence held the table.

Rogue turned to Storm. "Ah don't think he knew. Ah really don't."

"Of course I didn't know!" exploded the team leader. "Where's the Professor? What's happened to him? What are we going to do?!"

Wolverine repeated, "Chuck's been gone for days, Cyke. I don't personally know where he got to. Does anyone?"

Around the table, they all shook their heads. Cyclops became more and more agitated. 

"We don't know where he is! He could be anywhere! Anything could be happening to him! He could even be dead! We've got to find him! Save him! Save the Professor! WE HAVE TO FIND THE VILE FIEND WHO CAPTURED OUR MENTOR AND MAKE HIM PAY—"

"Knock it off, Scott," Jean interrupted. "I don't think the Professor is being held by any criminal mastermind."

"AND WHY NOT?" In his impassioned state, flecks of spittle decorated the corners of Cyclops' mouth.

"Simple," Beast supplied calmly. He tapped a piece of paper laying conspicuously on the tabletop. "Whomever accosted the Professor left this detailed map to their secret headquarters."

"Jeez, Cyke," Jubilee muttered, "that map's been sittin' on the table for, like, days!"

But even though the rest of the X-men team was obviously not disturbed by the disappearance of their mentor—who, by the way, also picked up all the bills—Cyclops was too agitated to be calmed down. With him waving his arms around and making emotional, long-winded speeches about rescuing the mighty Charles Xavier, everyone else finally sighed in resignation and wearily pulled on their spandex. 

At least it would shut him up.

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"According to the map," Beast reported, scanning it, "the secret headquarters of the mysterious abductors is . . . right next door."

"Away!" shouted Cyclops, whose tirades had disintegrated to cliques.

The team followed him dejectedly across the street.

Their red-visored field leader was already crouched at the front hedges, drawing diagrams in the dirt with a finger when the rest of the team walked up.

Cyclops squinted up at each of them. "Okay," he whispered, "here's the plan. Storm, you and Rogue fly up and search for any security cameras and take them out. Jean. Scan for Charles' thoughts, and let him know we're on our way. Wolverine, you head around back and burst through the back door at my signal. Beast, you and I will rush the front door. And Jubilee, you're walking point. Knock on the door and pretend to be selling Girl Scout cookies."

Jubilee, smacking her gum, shrieked, "No _way!_ No way am I a stupid Girl Scout selling stupid cookies! That sucks. This is the dumbest plan I've _ever_ heard!" 

"Jubilation Lee, keep your voice down! You'll compromise our position," Cyclops hissed.

"Screw this!" the girl replied. She turned and made to stomp away, then paused; a better idea came to her. With a slight grin, she spun on her heel and bounded up the stairs to the front porch. Before anyone could stop her, she jammed her thumb into the door bell.

"JUBILEE!" Cyclops howled.

She blew a bubble and managed to make stick her tongue out at him at the same time. The sound of the door opening turned her back.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

The foyer inside was dark and the voice disembodied. The effect was surprisingly creepy, and involuntarily the entire X-team tensed.

"Yeah," Jubilee blurted, refusing to look scared. "We'd like our Professor back."

"Oh I'm sorry," the voice replied softly, with a touch of malice. "I'm afraid that's not possible."

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End file.
